Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Pregnant and Mixed Feelings

I am almost 4 months pregnant and 43 years old.  This pregnancy was somewhat unexpected. I was told I could no longer get pregnant due to my age and the fact that I smoked.  Well to my surprise it did in fact happen.....One night is all it takes. I had my both of my other children when I was older, compared to today's times.  I was 29 and 35.  At 43 I tell myself that I have gone through two previous pregnancies, and raised two children so this should be a breeze.  Well Ha Ha to that one!!!!! What is hitting me the hardest is my physical age. I may be 43 but this pregnancy makes me feel like I am 63.  I no longer have the body or energy of the 29 or even 35 year old I once was.  However on the up side, I am so happy that I will be bringing another sibling into this world for my other two children. In spite of my ill feelings I do have the maternal ones as well and I can't wait to see that beautiful baby after all the waiting is over.  I do feel it is a blessing to be given a third chance at being a mom.  I love my kids and I love being a mom. 

I guess like other things, the feelings of nausea, being so tired and cranky will pass.  The amazing part is that after the baby is born, I will still be very tired and cranky due to sleepless nights feeding bottles and changing diapers.  Ironically though it won't bother me then. 

Gotta go, my other 2 children now need my attention........

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